February 2012
3 posts
“God bless Mackenzie Goodman, Joe Rosenthal, and ABBA. The holy trinity.”
– Russ
“Last night I fell asleep on my iPad while reading a Wikipedia article on food in...”
– Jenn
JOAQUIN: Excuse me while I forcibly insert myself into your conversation..
ALL: (silence)
JOAQUIN: Okay.. so... what are you guys talking about?
MAURA: Rape.
January 2012
1 post
December 2011
2 posts
September 2011
4 posts
“I smell like a girl. I like it. It makes me feel less lonely.”
– Benjamin, spritzed with perfume.
“This couch is too comfortable. These mimosas are too drunk. The floor is too...”
– Benjamin. Went to a brunch that lasted 8 hours yesterday. Mimosas for everyone! Mimosas all day long.
1 tag
August 2011
5 posts
1 tag
HE HAS A POINT
CAM: Get him drunk so he'll sleep in my bed.
ME: I thought you didn't like him?
CAM: He'll do.
ME: I'm pretty sure he's straight.
CAM: So is spaghetti until it gets hot.
“She has this Korean flag and whenever I drape it about my shoulders I feel like...”
– Kyle discussing Starcraft 2.
“I would like something that looks like this but with me dressed as a physically...”
– Artistic direction from Benjamin.
“I have a bit of a slutty relationship with tea.”
– Ivan, who absolutely has a slutty relationship with tea.
“We’re all drunk, that’s the important question.”
– I wish I knew who shouted this so I could give them credit.
July 2011
4 posts
2 tags
“You’re the motherfucking LL Cool J of this wedding.”
– The best thing anyone has ever said to me while I was working.
“I have a mustache to rub on your face. Don’t you ever forget that.”
– Andy to Russ, in a surprisingly threatening tone.
June 2011
4 posts
it was a trap.
KYM: Oh! I wanted to tell you... no, never mind, I can't. It's too embarrassing.
ME: Come on.
KYM: No.
ME: I'll tell you about something stupid I did and then you just tell me your thing.
KYM: Okay, fine.
ME: (tells previously mentioned story)
ME: Now you go.
KYM: Oh, well my thing's way less embarrassing than yours.
“I’m going to teach you everything I know about boogie boards.”
– Hanging out with Britt’s niece, Hannah.
“I just wanna let you know that in a few months when I’m Baby Gap-skinny I...”
– Cameron. Shit’s getting all healthy up in here. Calorie counting and morning jogging all over the place.
May 2011
4 posts
March 2011
9 posts
“I’m pretty sure I had a heart attack last night so I just laid in bed all...”
– I have a 98-year-old friend who is the best.
“If you touch someone enough they become your friend.”
– Drunk Brittney Logic.
ME: Sorry to bring up dead babies, guys...
ANDY: It was bound to come up anyway. Let's be honest.
February 2011
4 posts
2 tags
wppi in vegas
met, danced and drank with about 90% of my photo idols.
conquered high heels.
turned $1 into $3.
won $400 of editing software in a raffle.
did all of this like a boss.
“I hate white meat and I hate all of you.”
– James explains an awkward family dinner.
“I would love to lift your silken hair onto my white horse and ride into the...”
– I may have finally found a hairstylist who understands me.
January 2011
6 posts
sharing the office
TAYLER: What's that sound?
ME: You mean the song?
TAYLER: It's just noise.
ME: It's Air.
TAYLER: I don't understand what you're saying to me.
December 2010
10 posts
My black neighbors are yelling “white power” at each other while fake sword fighting. Obviously the rest of us are celebrating Christmas incorrectly.
Cameron Appreciation Hour
“Look at me unbuttoning this bra. I’m such a straight man right now.”
“I haven’t cried since I watched Bridge to Terabithia.”
CHASE: Fuck Nic Cage. CAMERON: He was good in Con Air.
“RIHANNA’S REALER THAN THAT SHIT YOU LISTEN TO”
“My nose feels tight and dry. Which is how I like my women.”
“I hope I fit into my pair of...
