“My dinner tonight is an apple and whatever alcohol I drink.” - Cameron “Remember when Mel’s identity was stolen and they made his credit score better?” - Richie “You know what’s really hard to have sex to? Family Guy.” - Cameron “As someone who’s white and middle class, let’s face it, things will probably fall into place for...
Some of my favorite memories from when we lived together are when we would drink...– Cameron
group text: send me pictures of your faces. i have nothing planned for six hours and want to draw some shitty portraits. …thanks guys.
This is my 1,000th Tumblr post and I'm wasting it.
Cameron Appreciation Hour part 2
“I FUCKING HATE BANANAS. I AM SO SICK OF TRYING TO LIVE MY LIFE AROUND THEM” “I’m not judging you, I’m just describing you.” “When it comes to food I prefer quantity over quality.” CAMERON: I’m going to make myself throw up. ME: Please close the door. CAMERON: No! I want you to hear my pain! “If you don’t have a lesbian...
“Smart corgis are actually smarter than most dumb people.” - Benjamin “That’s what love is. You hire someone to be your nanny and then you shit yourself.” - Benjamin “Straight men are more dangerous than gay men because they’re bad people.” - Richie “Because we both love Firefly we could totally make out or...
chuy and olive boston terrier dog friends please...
I would pay attention to you but I have a burrito to eat.– Cameron
KYLE A: “I’m not racist, I’m just… afraid.” CAMERON: “The guy I’m not dating is cheating on me!” LANIE (ON THE NEW TWILIGHT): “This movie was not the fun time I wanted it to be. It felt like going to a strip club and watching a murder.” ALICIA: “I only know how to make Sex Eyes at food.” LANIE: “I wish we were talking...
Benjamin Appreciation Post
BEN: Everyone wants to cry and eat melons in front of you. Literally everyone wants to do this. ME: You’ve taken a poll? BEN: No, it’s just an innate thing. Like the desire to seek shelter or enjoy music. I understand human nature. (my excuse for staying in that night wasn’t satisfactory) BEN: And with his last breath the cowboy whispered in the ear of his lover, “I need...
You are the wind beneath my puns.– Andy. I don’t want to be this.
You know a song’s going to be good when it starts with, “aw yeah.– Jenn. The Bell Biv DeVoe Pandora station is getting a lot of play these days.
God bless Mackenzie Goodman, Joe Rosenthal, and ABBA. The holy trinity.– Russ
Last night I fell asleep on my iPad while reading a Wikipedia article on food in...– Jenn
I smell like a girl. I like it. It makes me feel less lonely.– Benjamin, spritzed with perfume.
This couch is too comfortable. These mimosas are too drunk. The floor is too...– Benjamin. Went to a brunch that lasted 8 hours yesterday. Mimosas for everyone! Mimosas all day long.
HE HAS A POINT
CAM: Get him drunk so he'll sleep in my bed.
ME: I thought you didn't like him?
CAM: He'll do.
ME: I'm pretty sure he's straight.
CAM: So is spaghetti until it gets hot.
She has this Korean flag and whenever I drape it about my shoulders I feel like...– Kyle discussing Starcraft 2.
I would like something that looks like this but with me dressed as a physically...– Artistic direction from Benjamin.
I have a bit of a slutty relationship with tea.– Ivan, who absolutely has a slutty relationship with tea.
We’re all drunk, that’s the important question.– I wish I knew who shouted this so I could give them credit.
You’re the motherfucking LL Cool J of this wedding.– The best thing anyone has ever said to me while I was working.
I have a mustache to rub on your face. Don’t you ever forget that.– Andy to Russ, in a surprisingly threatening tone.
I’m going to teach you everything I know about boogie boards.– Hanging out with Britt’s niece, Hannah.
I just wanna let you know that in a few months when I’m Baby Gap-skinny I...– Cameron. Shit’s getting all healthy up in here. Calorie counting and morning jogging all over the place.
I’m pretty sure I had a heart attack last night so I just laid in bed all...– I have a 98-year-old friend who is the best.
If you touch someone enough they become your friend.– Drunk Brittney Logic.