WARNING: About to talk about shitting
extrafirmhold: Ok FIRST OF ALL, I’m pretty precious about when I go to drop the kids off at the pool. Like, I have to make sure that NO ONE is around, the mere thought of having someone near by while I’m crapping just creeps me out. The sounds. I don’t want them to hear the sounds. So anyway, I’m in the toilet right and I let out a little fart, and then a looooong fart, and then a high pitched...
I can’t wait to show you the boobs, I mean pictures.– Kym. While I was out of town the rest of the team shot a former playmate’s wedding.
Question: What kind of toe is best? False. Camel.– Gorb
When you are retarded, I am here.– God. We photographed a Christian fundraiser banquet and they kept playing clips of the voice of god saying inspirational things. This sentenced looped around a few times and with every play I became more certain that “retarded” was what was actually being said, even though common sense...
LESSONS LEARNED THIS WEEK
No matter how certain you think you are that the cap is on, don’t scratch your face with a pen. The cap will not be on. If “Youth” is in the title of an event, it’s more likely to be centered around Christianity than actual youths.
ANTON CHIGURH JUST BUMPED CARTS WITH ME IN COSTCO...
When I was younger, about 6 or 7, I remember watching this bizarre series of animated videos to teach children morals. The most vivid memory I have is one about foxes where the husband goes off on some trip and his best friend comes over and hangs out with his wife. Shit goes down, and in the end the husband sets his friend on fire? The middle details are fuzzy but I know for sure the last few...
In my notebook I’ve started keeping track of the good deeds I do, hoping that it’ll help me keep up with being a better person. Yesterday I optimistically wrote “was nice to children” before going to an event. When I came back home I had to cross it out.
The Next President →
It’s really hard not to feel comforted looking at this collection of photos. Also, as of today, I’m transforming myself into a better person. So the rest of you can just suck it.
we're patriotic tonight
toby flenderson: GOD BLESS AMERICA, AMIRITE?
brittneyheyns: so much god blessing!
I hate white meat and I hate you.– Alex’s family dinners.