Brittney and I are in Texas right now watching a medical show about limb deformaties.
It was great. Except for one thing that was in front of me…– Josh Severud, on the same dancing fatty that Mackenzie and I were stuck by two weeks ago at Harry and the Potters. (via dorkisaliosis) worth the reblog. I want this quote to be in my possession.
Sometimes I gas Mitch under the covers.– Gorba can be counted on to eventually steer all conversation to farts, even if the topic you started with was the Holocaust.
License plate I wish I had: NVRNUDE.
I’m on Fire - Chromatics. This song is so...
New Zealand girl changes bizarre name →
“The judge discovered New Zealand parents had given their children some other unusual names including Number 16 Bus Shelter and Midnight Chardonnay, both of which may relate to the conception of the child.” I’m going to grab my helmet and go for a few loops around the lollerskating rink.
320: Brittney begins writing on a note card. It starts with "I love zany ziti."
325: Still writing. The note card is getting crowded.
330: Brittney asks me how to spell hepatitis. Continues writing.
Cameron: Ugh, ew, my mouth just touched my sock.
Me: Your sock?
Me: Explain what's going on?
Last.fm is different. It’s new and unfamiliar and I reject it.
My life is a lie! Somebody’s gotta get stabbed!
In Dubai, a single ticket costs three islands. There are no soda refills.– More Dark Knight hype.
What kind of right-minded Phoenix resident plans an outdoor wedding for mid-July? I guess it is cloudy today and under 110, but still. Of all the times to plan a wedding in this city, July? I can’t trust these people.
You’re a whore. Actually, no, you’re not. But I’m only saying...– playing Super Mario with Brittney.
I mean, if you think about it, the wind is nature’s dominatrix.– Fug Girls
even if I didn’t already know and love Ashly in real life, everything about this would be perfect. I don’t just hand out pity laughs.
I have to stop looking at these. They’re making me upset.– Gorba looks at geoducks.
No, no no. I only have to touch poop with one client.– Gorba
Mmmmmm. Fuckin’ pudding.– Gorba’s making pudding in Alaska.
We were wearing war paint.
Me: You look stupid. Don't look stupid in my house.
Brittney: We're not wearing war paint or anything...
My aunt and uncle were clowns. Like, they went to clown school. But they both...– Carolyn Lee
You know, like “Hey There Delilah”… the Plain White T’s...– Shawn, confusing the Bible with pop music.
from the eavesdropping archives
Cameron (while on the phone): What's the big news?
Cameron: What is it?
Cameron: YOU GOT A CAT?
Me: I was kind of bored so I started thinking about you coming and I got so much happier.
Cameron: Aw, thanks.... wait, reverse 10 seconds and repeat that.
Me: I was thinking about you and I got happier?
Cameron: There's a word missing.
Me: I was thinking about you coming and I got happier.
Cameron: Yeah, that's it.
I BELIEVE IN TRUTH!– Shawn, in the middle of an absurd argument about Project Runway.