Currently on a rooftop bar looking into a neighboring hotel room where a man is giving another man a really awkward looking lapdance.
I’m getting drunk in the back of a limo on my way out to Scottsdale. And I’m being paid.
I’M NOT GOING TO HURT YOU. I JUST WANT TO BE CLOSE TO YOU.– Something Gorba yelled at Tracey in a really threatening way.
I have a strict dress code for my prophets: helmet, speedo.– God in Ant Farm. The last time I quoted something by god on my tumblr I got hate mail.
I hope that when my mom comes home she asks me some very specific, humiliating...– 12-year-old Simon Rich in Ant Farm.
You can sleep right next to me and you can squeeze me. I don’t care if you...– Hannah is the only child worth knowing.
Oh, also, I gradually watched a pigeon die today.– I’m really tired right now and reading through some of the forgotten entries in my quote book. Brittney said this while we were on the phone one day, probably right after we talked about how good soup is, because that’s usually what we end up talking about.
Moderately Low Moment:
Child abuse joke in front of a couple who often foster beaten children taken from their homes.
Often times I think I’ve lived through My Lowest Moment. Using fabric glue to fix the underwire in my bra right before work, realizing the shirt I’ve been wearing all day is either inside out or backwards, making a holocaust joke in front of a new client. The usual low point things. But after tonight when I went to the grocery store and left without realizing I wasn’t wearing...
You are a tickety tack supertranny from Transylvania who is not apologizing for...– The note Cameron left my mom that she found immediately after getting the news that her brother died.
I wish I was asian. Oh, or a black girl. I don’t know, it’s a really...– Cameron
I need to scribble out these pubes real quick. I need to make this into a frog.
Oh these? These are the swirls of ejaculate.– an evening of the “make something out of this thing I just scribbled” game.
That was like… what can your body mix together? Let’s try…...– Cameryn. Sometimes my hiccups don’t sound like hiccups.
CAMERON: did you get those pictures done?
ME: no, I just got out of a client meeting and I'm going to go finish them off.
CAMERON: if I pretend that you're a high powered lawyer while you say that I get turned on.
He’s the only man that turns me on.– Cory Brox about Snake from Metal Gear Solid.
I could have a lemon party!– Mom telling me about how many lemons the tree has grown this season.
Oh except I also accidentally set my sweater on fire leaning over a table and stole a cupcake. And I’ve spent most of today blowing my nose into a paper towel and working on a watercolor painting of my interpretation of balloon heaven. So.
Last night I worked for 13 straight hours without any whining. I’m an adult now.